Sleepless Peace

Truly my soul finds rest in God;
my salvation comes from him. Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will never be shaken. How long will you assault me?
Would all of you throw me down—
this leaning wall, this tottering fence? Surely they intend to topple me
from my lofty place;
they take delight in lies.
With their mouths they bless,
but in their hearts they curse. Yes, my soul, find rest in God;
my hope comes from him. Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God;
he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, you people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge. Surely the lowborn are but a breath,
the highborn are but a lie.
If weighed on a balance, they are nothing;
together they are only a breath. Do not trust in extortion
or put vain hope in stolen goods;
though your riches increase,
do not set your heart on them. One thing God has spoken,
two things I have heard:
"Power belongs to you, God, and with you, Lord, is unfailing love";
and, "You reward everyone
according to what they have done." (Psalm 62:1-12 NIV)

Lately I have found myself stressed, overwhelmed, irritated, and even angry. I caught myself asking, "where are you, God?" The answer is that He never left me. I was just not seeking Him.

Tonight I decided to go to bed early because I had a bad headache and I needed to catch up on some much needed sleep. One thing you may not know about me is that if I do not get sleep I become very irritated and angry extremely easily. I had finally managed to get to sleep and my roommate comes in. He was quiet because I did not notice him at first. Then a girl came in. I briefly awoke to this but fell back asleep. Not too much longer another one of my roommates comes in the room and is very loud. He is well aware that I am trying to sleep but he stated that he simply did not care. Now I am fully awake and extremely irritated. I lay there for a few more minutes hoping he would exit the room so I may go back to sleep. He did not leave so I did. Upon leaving, my roommate asked where I was going. I replied by telling him I was going to the beach. He asked why and I told him something along the lines of "our other roommate can't keep his mouth shut". Was this an appropriate reply? No. I could have and should have just asked them politely to be quiet so that I may sleep but I didn't. One thing I hate more than being woken up is to feel like i am being disrespected. In this moment i felt completely disrespected by my roommate. Unknown to me, God was going to use this to show me a few things.

I drove across the bridge to go to the beach and pray (oh, the advantages of living a mile from the beach). While in prayer I felt an overwhelming inner peace that I had been longing for. God convicted me of how I handled the situation and I reflected on how I need to handle things like that in the future. After some prayer and solitude with God I opened up my good ole bible app. The verse of the day was Psalm 62:1. "Truly my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from him." It was one of those lightbulb moments. Through all of my stressing and irritation I need to seek God because that is where I will find peace because he is my source of light and salvation in this dark world.

Through all of this I have also realized that I need to have a servant's heart and love people even when I feel like I have been wronged. This is one of the hardest things for me to do because I seem to have a high sense of what I think is right and wrong and I have a low tolerance for anything less. I need to work on that and humble myself before others. I need to put them first and make myself nothing before them so that I may serve them out of love like Jesus came to serve everyone on earth. I think Philippians 2:3-7 sums it up great. My prayer is that I remember this and act differently next time a situation like this occurs.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing
by taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness. (Philippians 2:3-7 NIV)

I want to challenge you to pray and ask God for a servant's heart. Look for ways to serve others even if they aggravate you.

Always Rambling,
Jonathan